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How to grow a pineapple

How to grow a pineapple
Step 1: Buy a pineapple
Step 2: Twist off the crown, cut up the pineapple, shave down the crown
Step 3: Dry the crown outside on the wall 
Step 4: Put the crown in water
Step 5: Wait
Step 6: Change the water
Step 7: Wait
Step 8: Change the water
Step 9: Wait
Step 10: Change the water
Step 11: Wait
Step 12: Nothing has happened for two weeks, you cut too much off of the roots, maybe? Compost the pineapple crown
Step 13: Buy a pineapple
Step 14: Wait too long to cut up the pineapple so it is kinda moldy and over-ripe
Step 15: Twist off the crown, compost rest of pineapple, shave down crown, but less this time
Step 16: Dry the pineapple outside
Step 17: Put the pineapple in water 
Step 18: Wait
Step 19: Change the water
Step 20: Wait
Step 21: Change the water
Step 22: Wait
Step 23: Wash off mold, change water
Step 24: Wait
Step 25: Change water
Step 26: Wait
Step 27: Wash off mold, change water
Step 28: Wait
Step 29: Pineapple is moldy, maybe you didn’t shave off enough this time or didn’t let it dry out enough or it was over before it started? Compost the pineapple crown
Step 30: Buy a pineapple
Step 31: Don’t wait so long to cut it this time
Step 32: Twist off crown, cut up pineapple, shave around pineapple crown, put on the window sill to dry
Step 33: Put the pineapple in water
Step 34: Wait
Step 35: Change water
Step 36: Wait
Step 37: Change water
Step 38: Wait
Step 39: Change water
Step 40: Wait
Step 41: Wash off mold, change water
Step 42: Wait
Step 43: Change water
Step 44: Wait
Step 45: Wash off mold, change water; Maybe roots are growing
Step 46: Wait
Step 47: The pineapple is still moldy, change water
Step 48: Wait
Step 49: Pineapple is moldy, this is it; Compost pineapple
Step 50: Buy a pineapple 


Valerie Wiseman, Pineapple, 2016

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